Cloning Donald Trump - DNA, Genetic Engineering, And The Guarantee Of A Horrific Living Legacy

The Boys From Brazil is a film starring Gregory Peck and Lawrence Olivier about the infamous Nazi doctor Josef Mengele, the Angel of Death, who performed experiments on Jews at Auschwitz.  In this fictional account of the whereabouts of Mengele after the fall of the Third Reich, the doctor is in Paraguay where he has successfully cloned 100 Hitlers from the genetic material of the blood of Der Fuhrer taken before his death. 

 

It is a Hollywood tale of suspense, mystery, and adventure in which a Jewish Nazi hunter tracks Mengele down but not before the Hitler clones are all fourteen years old, living all over the world, and thriving. 

The story of course is not as far fetched as it would seem. Since the early days of cloning, genetic engineering has come a long way, and in the not too distant future, prospective parents will be able to select prize DNA from a catalogue and have designer babies.  The DNA of celebrities of particular talent - Michael Jordan for pure athleticism, Marilyn Monroe for seductive, alluring beauty, Oppenheimer and Einstein for intellectual genius - will get top dollar and the designer market will flourish. 

The American Left has been obsessed - no, possessed is the better word - with Donald Trump for the ten years he has been on the American political scene and over this time have come to believe that he is the incarnation of Hitler, an evil, murderous, inhuman creature who has set out to exterminate blacks, gays, and transgenders no differently than Hitler did to the Jews. 

Of course this is all poppycock, fevered nightmares of discombobulated progressives on the run.  Trump, far from the genocidal maniac painted by the Left, is out only to restore the nation to its original, unique, and influential origins - the America of Jefferson, Hamilton, Franklin, and Adams.  Yet, with little else to go on, no platform to speak of, nothing but discredited ideas of race, gender, and ethnicity, progressives still hammer away at the Hitler thing, the demonic thing, the incarnation of evil in the White House. 

 

So it is not surprising that a rumor is spreading throughout progressive ranks that in secret laboratories deep beneath the Utah desert, scientists are reproducing the spitting image of the President and storing hundreds of him in cryogenic crypts for revival and maturity in future after the man himself has passed away. 

Absurdist Theory is the latest of many recent developments in psycho-social research.  It postulates than in environments of mass hysteria, not unlike the current progressive one which confabulates theories of armed insurrection (the Viking helmeted, face painted, clown show of January 6th when two hundred frat boys from the Idaho panhandle and along the way to Washington staged a three ring circus), a return to Robber Baron economics (twisted notions about free enterprise, consolidation of American wealth, and a money-fueled boom), and a Soviet style pogrom of undocumented asylees (deporting illegal aliens) into a universal ethos of doom. 

Consistent with Absurdist Theory, why wouldn't this neo-Hitler concoct a means to assure that his predatory, destructive, horrifically genocidal ambitions would continue, in fact be permanent? As crazy as the idea sounds, progressives give it credence.  

'Couldn't possibly be', said one of the few moderates in the party, but those on the far left, already unhinged by their humiliating defeat and believing more than ever that the Trump victory meant social Armageddon, were not convinced.  

There were enough examples of his defamatory, anti-social, hateful programs and his frightening arrogance (the Left circulated pictures of Trump standing defiant, the image of Il Duce, Mussolini, standing imperiously, chin out, above a crowd of roaring Fascists) to warrant concern. 

Subscription to this, the most outrageously ridiculous conspiracy theory ever, was a sure sign that it was curtains for the progressive wing of the Democratic Party.  They could never come back from this. 

On the QT progressive operatives began to investigate, first interviewing scientists at NIH to see if there was anything whatsoever to the possibility of such advanced genetic engineering. A transcript of a top secret meeting with Prof. Armand Liggett, senior scientist at the Institute for Genetics in Bethesda unearthed recently was concerning but reassuring.  Liberals were not wrong. 

'Ah, yes, cloning', said Prof. Liggett, smiling at the old fashioned idea and remembering The Boys of Brazil. 'Possible of course, but we've come a long way from that quite prehistoric way of asexual reproduction.  'Now', he said, warming to the question like Dr. Strangelove did in Stanley Kubrick's movie, holding down his crippled right hand so that it would not fly up in a Nazi salute, 'we have come a long way and is genetic identic reproduction possible? Of course it is, of course', now a whirling dervish, a latter day prophet, a crazy Union Square mad evangelist. 

The interviewer left unsettled but convinced they were on the right track.  The President with all the levers of power available to him, and with devilish intent and American innovative technology behind him, there was no doubt that he was preparing for an unlikely but certain future. 

In order to cover their already noticeable instability, Democrats requested and were granted a subcommittee hearing on genetic engineering, and there within Roberts Rules of Order and the privileged sanctity of the Senate managed to get at the truth.  Was it possible, etc. etc. and might it be, yada yada, and could we possibly see, etc. etc. the questioners asked Dr. Liggett brought down from Bethesda to testify, and off he went as intemperately as before.  'Yes, yes' he fairly shouted to the panel, and went on until time was called. 

None of this proved a thing, only that designer babies would soon be here, but nothing about anything so sinister as generations of Trump babies being born to realize his satanic vision. 

When asked if he had heard the rumors and was there any truth to them, the President smiled at the CNN reporter, and said, 'Yes, of course', which sent the entire press corps tapping away at their phones, until they realized that the President was just joshing. 

Bob Muzelle, a veteran of the old civil rights bus rides down South, perennial liberal advocate, and espouser of all progressive causes, a tireless sponsor of doing the right thing, was at sixes and sevens, dazed and confused as never before.  Visions of Hitler, a thousand Hitlers shook and rattled in his brain, a terrifying sight of Sieg Heil, SS storm troopers, the Gestapo, and torchlight parades washed before him.  It was happening, the thought, really happening.  All that we feared has come true.  Evil is in our midst, we are...

 

Here his wife Jeannette called him to dinner.  'Pot roast, dear', she said. 'Your favorite', so Bob stumbled to the table looking wilder and more mad than the zany NIH professor. 'It's coming', Bob shouted over the carrots and mashed potatoes.  'It's here.  We're...we're...', but he couldn't finish, got up from the table, petted the dog, and walked out the door, and was later picked up by Montgomery County police, escorted to Suburban Hospital, and then admitted to a private facility in Connecticut for the well-heeled mentally ill. 

A metaphor for the Democratic Party, nastily reported Republican critics who had gotten wind of the 'transfer' of this senile old fool.  Harsh, perhaps a bit unfair, but alas, true as a hammered nail.