Trump And Putin Talk About The Health Of The Planet - This And Other Geopolitical Jokes

Bob Muzelle was ecstatic at the rumors circulating in Washington - the President and Putin of Russia were to hold a mini-telephone summit on the state of the planet, its health and well-being, the preservation of forest land, biodiversity, and clean air. 

 

Bob had been an environmentalist for decades and a climate change activist for many years.  He was on the board of directors of the Environmental Defense Fund, the Sierra Club, and the Wilderness Society.  He had been an associate of Partners in Parks, the movement to save the snail darter and the woodland feather-tailed grouse, and in the phalanx against the expansion of AI data centers. 

He had been encouraged by the policies and programs of the Biden Administration, but was angered at Donald Trump's rollback of most of the former president's reforms.  Under Trump it was an energy free-for-all - oil pipelines now back in operation, new refineries being built, oil shale and gas fracking well underway, coal fired power plants reopened, and more. 

It was a catastrophe, bemoaned Bob, commiserating with his colleagues in a small conference room in his non-profit organization, Americans For Social Responsibility, a catch-all place for climate activism, gender equality, and civil rights; but he had gathered his associates to discuss what would be a historic meeting between two adversaries who agreed on almost nothing.  Ever since the Cold War days America and Russia had never seen eye to eye, but here in the offing was a meeting of the minds of historical significance. 

Repeated calls to the White House press office, direct lines to the Press Secretary, and attempts to reach high-placed officials in the Administration proved futile.  No one was available to take Bob's calls, and confirmation of the historic mini-summit would have to wait. 

Just think of it, Bob mused.  First Russia, then China without whose support hope for climate sanity would always be a chimera.  Was it time to let the foot of the gas and pause Trump hatred? To give the President space to formulate his agenda and prepare for the conversation with the Russian?

This, however, would mean dismantling the entire machinery of the Left where Trump hatred was an industry. The inertia of anger, spite, and poisonous attacks was such that slowing it would be like trying to turn the full speed ahead Titanic away from the iceberg; and to claim that the President was actually doing something right would be tantamount to political treason and reason for expulsion from the party. 

Now, of course the last thing this president who had closed down EPA, opened the country to energy exploration, granted generous easements to logging companies to operate on federal land, and dismissed climate concerns out of hand, would ever do was to put environmental concerns on the geopolitical agenda let alone to discuss them with the enemy. 

Calls to the Russian Embassy were summarily dismissed.  'America is one crazy place', said Anatoly Karpov, Kremlin Deputy Assistant Secretary in Washington, amazed that amidst the initiative for tsarist revival, the patriotic war in Ukraine, and the progressive modernization of the country's nuclear arsenal, the idea of an 'environmental summit' as the caller had called it could even have been suggested. 

'Like mosquitos in Novosibirsk', Karpov added. 'Nobody pays attention'. 

Hope springs eternal, the old adage too Christian to be put in an embroidered sampler on Bob's office wall, was exactly the right notion for Americans for Social Justice.  Yes, such a bi-presidential discussion was indeed far-fetched, but if only the rumors were true, all Bob's hopes and dreams would be realized. 

The fact that Bob actually gave credence to the idea - as impossibly fanciful as it was to anyone living outside the hermetic progressive world in which Bob lived - was no surprise to many on the inside, for Bob had been on the front lines of environmentalism forever, and his willingness to believe in supposition was part of his advocacy.  

Al Gore, former Vice President in his book An Inconvenient Truth predicted the end of the world because of human indifference to climate change.  Sea levels would rise and swamp New York and Miami, soy bean crops would sizzle and die in Iowa, choking heat would kill millions of the poor trapped in non-airconditioned tenements and tarpaper shacks.  In short Armageddon. 

Bob took every word as gospel truth and renewed and energized his environmental advocacy.  He became a man possessed, a whirling dervish, an Old Testament prophet, a streetcorner preacher, a televangelist, a political firebrand all rolled up into one.  He was on fire. 

Every suggestion that the climate was not behaving as Al Gore said - that the geological record was more suggestive of natural cyclical changes in temperature than any human intervention - was tantamount to heresy and would not be tolerated.  Bob became not only an advocate for climate sensibility, he became a j'accuse vigilante.  

Any and all discrediting remarks were to be called out and the speakers cancelled.  'There can be no opposition to the truth', Bob said, 'when the truth is existential', a line that came back to haunt him once reliable data showed an increase in polar ice, not a decrease; that sea levels were remaining steady, and that catastrophic storms predicted had not materialized. 

He was increasingly being seen as a wild-eyed Cassandra, a bitch with an agenda, a crazed weirdo, and an intellectual degenerate.  Of course not by his inner circle or those close to the epicenter of the climate change movement; but still his solid reputation was being questioned.  All of which only fired up his boiler to high heat, and gave him a St. Vitus' dance persona - a man jumping and bouncing with demented energy - or a Tourette's Syndrome sufferer barking out obscenities at random. 

This cockamamie rumor about the presidential environmental summit pushed him over the edge.  For a while he stood firm, hopeful that that the international high-profile conversation would take place; but once he realized that belief in such specious, unbelievable rumor was tantamount to dementia, over he went. 

And so it is in Washington, climate activists toppling over the cliff left and right  along with Bob. Journal after journal called out the climate hype for what it was, and if the so-called 'crisis' got any ink, it was to laugh at it and its true believers. 

Bob was no longer fit to work after the rumor was outed and dispelled.  The wind had been taken out of his sails, the fire in his heart dampened and doused, and his moral compass sent spinning.  He was a shell of a man, an empty suit, and a deranged soul simply trying to regain his balance. 

He couldn't of course. There was return from such depths.  'A fool and his money are soon parted' said English poet Thomas Tusser, and so it was with a fool and his beliefs.  Without the foundational belief of an imminent climate Armageddon, this particular fool was left with nothing. 

The Return Of The Shah - 'Please Don't Bomb My Palace' - Reza Pahlavi And The Restoration Of Empire

Reza Pahlavi, son of Mohammed Reza Pahlavi, former Shah of Iran, exiled to and harbored by the United States after the 1979 Islamic revolution, had lived in royal splendor.  He embodied the greatness of the Persian Empire, its opulence, its reach, and its magnificence.  His display of wealth which disturbed many as an indication of his insularity and complete ignorance of the needs of the common man, was in his words, nothing less than the rightful splendor of Persian culture, a sign of imperial power and cultural influence. 

   

His celebration of 2500 years of the Persian Empire was a billion dollar extravaganza, a world event of awesome pomp and circumstance, a display of the greatness and permanence of the rule of shahs. 

It was indeed something to celebrate, for the Persian Empire was all that Pahlavi claimed, covering vast territory and extending arts, science, literature, language and high culture over a vast region of the globe. It was indeed something to celebrate. 

 

Of course the shah, like Czar Alexander of Russia or Henry XVI and Marie Antoinette of France had no idea what was brewing.  The Russian and French revolutionary movements were growing in importance, significance, and strength under their noses, but they were too self-assured, so confident of the permanent nature of empire to notice.  The 2500 year anniversary of the birth of the Persian Empire was the Iranian 'Let them eat cake' moment. 

Shortly after the celebrations Ayatollah Khomeini returned from exile and oversaw the Iranian revolution which installed a theocratic government which has now lasted nearly fifty years.  The shah and his empire were history, but faithful Iranian monarchists and common admirers have never given up hope that the rule of the shahs will return. 

Shortly after the first wave of American and Israeli attacks on Tehran the shah-in-waiting, Prince Reza Pahlavi, said he was ready to serve; and it indeed looked to all like he would soon be returned to the throne. 

It was not meant to be.  The Iranians proved to be more than a paper tiger and a legitimate military power.  While they could not match American and Israeli air power and high-tech ordnance, they had tens of thousands of missiles and drones deployed throughout the country in underground silos ready to attack. Air power was not enough to eliminate this unexpectedly successful weaponry. 

The war which many thought would be over in weeks - a reprise of the Israeli Six Day War of recent years - has dragged on for well over a month, and Donald Trump has modified his objectives.  Regime change and the restoration of the country's rightful leader was longer the issue - it was simply to get Tehran to agree to abandon all nuclear weapons, fissionable material, and the infrastructure and machinery to make bombs.   

Prince Reza Pahlavi would have to wait and maybe never sit on the throne which was his by birthright.  

He has lived quietly in a wealthy suburb of Washington, DC.  His father had of course secreted out hundreds of millions of dollars when he sought asylum in the US, so the Prince has never had to worry.  Reports are that he hs gotten quite used to the suburban life of the Capital.  He wasn't exactly barbecuing on Saturday afternoons, but he was still quite at home in the reserved, quiet life of McClean, Virginia. 

He like many of his neighbors keeps a stable, entertains lavishly but in good taste, is a frequenter of the best Georgetown parties, and an aficionado of early American art for which he has become an important patron. 

His office was in quite a flurry as American bombs blasted government infrastructure in Tehran and eliminated the ruling shah and his most important political advisors.  The regime would soon fall and Pahlavi would be on a plane within weeks. 

'Tell them not to bomb my palace', he told his aide-de-camp and senior adjutant, a man who had the ear of the White House and the Pentagon; and as a second thought, 'especially the garden', the magnificent Versailles-style expansive acreage of the most beautiful flowers ever assembled, and over which his father looked from the window of the palace.  Reza remembered playing in the garden to 'look but do not touch'; and now within a short time he would be walking amidst the roses and chrysanthemums. 

'I must assemble a cabinet', the Prince said to his advisors, using the American term unheard of by his father.  A shah does not have a team of advisors, professionals on which he can count on for professional counselling but a loyal inner circle to do his bidding.  His father, Mohammed, was known for his sudden purges where supposed loyalists were imprisoned, gutted, and hanged.  Imperial rule is not a matter of consensus or discussion. 

High-ranking members of the Iranian diaspora were well known to the Prince, but they were old men now, and far too Americanized to resume royal duties.  Pahlavi would need young men, sons of the diaspora and from the legions of supporters in Iran. 

Of course, Pahlavi was still a shah who had never forgotten his roots, the imperial grandeur of Persia, and the mighty regime of his father.  Yes, Mohammed had perhaps overstepped his bounds, angered an already restive population, and ignored the reality of popular uprising; but that did not detract from his vision of a renascent, resurgent Iran. 

Reza Pahlavi was not surprisingly an admirer of Erdogan of Turkey and Putin of Russia, men who made clear their intention to revive and restore their countries' imperial past.  The Ottoman Empire was as far-reaching as the Persian Empire in its day; and the imperial rule of the Russian Czars extended from Europe to the far east.  Both were beacons of light, culture, and learning. 

Democracy was a nice enough American surrogate for imperial rule, Pahlavi said, but it would not last.  The Persian Empire lasted two thousand and five hundred years! The Roman, Mongol, Gupta, and British empires were also extensive and historically significant. 

Of course in meetings with Donald Trump, Pahlavi assured the President that he would preside over a democratic republic, and would make it a model for participatory government in a region notoriously without it; but he had no intentions of ruling a country as divided, divisive, without historical grounding and without a moral ethos as America. Americans has forgotten Jefferson, Adams, and Hamilton long ago and were marching to a different drummer and an ear-splitting band. 

Once installed back in the palace in Tehran, Pahlavi would begin slowly but progressively to restore the mechanisms of power created by his father.  He would of course do them under the mantel of popular engagement and the rule of law - it was not hard to please the democratic West as his father well knew - but soon enough imperial rule would be restored. 

The Prince waited impatiently for the final blow to be delivered to the Tehran regime, but the American president unexpectedly shilly-shallied. Netanyahu had told Trump that unless he obliterated the regime, it would be back in power, supporting its anti-Israeli terrorist groups throughout the Middle East, and rebuilding its nuclear capacity.  The mullahs do not want peace for its own sake, they only want time to maneuver. 

Yet Trump told the Israeli President to be patient.  Iran will never have a nuclear weapon.  'Not enough', said Netanyahu. 'They don't care about the bomb. That is only a diversion, a bargaining chip to get America off its back'.  

Pahlavi knew his people and knew that Netanyahu was right.  If Trump prevailed, not only would he, Pahlavi, not be able to return to Iran but it would in time become the disruptive, hateful force that it has been since 1979. 

'Don't order the drapes', said a dissident who hated the Islamic regime but did not trust Pahlavi.  While dreams of the restoration of empire in the guise of a democratic republic sounded good, the shah had no intention of turning his back on the past. 

So, the Prince is back to his McClean dinners, soirees, and musical events waiting it out in style. 'Be patient, Reza', said a close advisor.  Remember Cyrus the Great'; but the advisor's Persian history was off-kilter.  Cyrus was never patient and crushed the opposition on his way to power in the early Achaemenid Empire. 

'We shall return', said Pahlavi using the royal we. 'It's only a matter of time'; but Trump has badly underestimated the regime, even worse than his predecessor Barack Obama who gave Iran the store in hopes of encouraging  moderate, tolerant, and inclusive regime. 

'I'll wait', said the Prince, sampling the Caspian Sea beluga caviar which made its way through the American sanctions to his table.  'I'll wait'. 

Iran And Lessons From Hiroshima, The Civil War, Vietnam, And The IDF - Wars Are For Winning

President Trump and advisors - Secretary of State, Secretary of War, Secretary of Energy (needed to weigh in on Iran's oil), Secretary of the Interior (once we get Ukraine's rare earths, the future of American lithium mining), and others met in the war room to discuss the ongoing wars.

Back in 1968 when the War in Vietnam was at its hottest and American anti-war protests were at their height, George Wallace, Governor of Alabama, ran as an Independent.  His far-right, segregationist, ultra-nationalist party was unlikely to win the election against Richard Nixon, but a statement had to be made.  The course of the country was going very wrong, and it was time to stop the hemorrhaging.  The country's white heritage was at stake and Thomas Jefferson's warning about the divisive, destructive release of African slaves into American society had come true. 

America was shilly-shallying in Vietnam, said Wallace, letting a force of black-pajamaed irregulars, the Viet Cong, run American military forces ragged.  It was a shameful display of American pusillanimity and downright weakness. 

To convey the message of American might and the need to show the Vietnamese, their Chinese patrons, and the Russians that we mean business was Curtis LeMay, retired general, World War II hero known for his military absolutism. He firmly believed that the enemy should be shown no mercy, its country reduced to rubble, its military obliterated, and its complaisant, complicit population given a lesson they would never forget.  

 

Years before in WWII he had been placed in command of strategic bombing operations against Japan, planning and executing a massive firebombing campaign against 66 Japanese cities, and Operation Starvation, a crippling minelaying campaign in Japan's internal waterways. He was a firm supporter of President Truman's decision to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima and Nagasaki and firm advocate of the firebombing of German cities, most notably Dresden, a campaign which did indeed reduce the city to ashes. 

LeMay had grown increasingly impatient over the American prosecution of the War in Vietnam.  He let it be known that the Hearts and Minds strategy of the military - i.e. the war cannot be won by military force alone but only if the peasantry, the people of Vietnam, understood and demanded freedom, social justice, and the benefits of liberal democracy - was deeply misguided. 

The implacable Vietnamese enemy were in those same Hearts and Minds villages ensuring loyalty through brutal intimidation, torture, and public executions. That was the key to allegiance in war, not candy and soft furry bunnies.

It was all a waste of time, this American mollycoddling policy.  Wars are for winning. Although he was supportive of Rolling Thunder, the Johnson-Nixon campaign of massive B-52 bombing of the North and Southern supply lines, he said that it didn't go far enough.  He saw how the Viet Cong hid in deep tunnels while the bombing went on, then emerged to rebuild the Ho Chi Minh Trail and went on to disrupt American operations in the South. 

It was a start, said LeMay but nowhere near enough. Only total annihilation of North Vietnam, the seat of power, the base of Ho Chi Minh and his brilliant General Giap would do. Just like Hiroshima and Nagasaki, massive bombing - yes, even strategic nuclear bombing - would be just the right ticket for the path to victory.  'Bomb 'em back to the Stone Age', he said. 

LeMay was considered a wacko, a loony, an unhinged maniac whose finger should be kept as far from the nuclear trigger as possible.  If had his way, said liberal critics, the United States would be known as a merciless killer, a nation without compassion or mercy, a brutal regime no different than the authoritarian murderers Stalin and Hitler. 

Of course LeMay was nothing of the sort, and the same allegations could be made of Harry Truman for incinerating Hiroshima and Nagasaki with the A-bomb.  The war against Japan was almost over, critics said,  American forces were working their way towards Tokyo, the Japanese military was in tatters, so there was no reason to destroy these cities.  

Yet Truman, 'to save American lives' but more importantly to show the Soviet Union what they could expect if they caused trouble, without hesitation, remorse, or second thoughts let Fat Boy drop from the Enola Gay. 

General MacArthur pleaded with Truman to let him take the Korean War to the Chinese.  They were the problem, not the pesky Koreans and only if the Communist Chinese were destroyed now, they would be an increasingly powerful adversary and enemy in the future.  LeMay was of course supportive of MacArthur.  There was no way that a stalemate on the Korean peninsula was going to be in America's interest.  Finish it once and for all, he advised. 

This same military strategy was embraced by General Wm. Tecumseh Sherman in the Civil War.  Sherman marched through Georgia and South Carolina not only to rout the remaining Confederate Army troops but to send the South a lesson.  'The South shall never rise again', he said as he laid waste to everything in his path. 

Which brings us to the present day and America's war with Iran.  What started off as a decisive military operation to depose the theocratic regime of the mullahs, to restore democracy, and return the rightful heir to the Persian throne, has faltered.  Under political anti-war pressure, President Trump has opted for a peaceful solution.  The war would end if the Iranians gave up all nuclear ambitions. 

Of course the ayatollahs refused, for they had enough missiles and drones to keep both the US and Israel at bay; and they also knew that a peace option would simply allow them to rebuild, rearm, and continue their support of regional terrorism, with or without the bomb.  Unless Iran was completely, irrevocably destroyed, it would continue to be a problem. 

Yet, the President - despite Israeli President Netanyahu's objection - continued on this path to settlement when the only viable option was military.  Iran must no longer exist, said Netanyahu. 

Israel and the IDF showed the world what it meant by total victory, bombing Gaza to a rubble, knowing full well that if it showed any hesitation, let alone mercy, Hamas would simply rearm and renew its attacks on Israel.  A stated policy to destroy Israel and annihilate all Jews would not easily be shelved by Israel's resolute enemy. 

Yet Israel too has taken its foot off the gas.  A ceasefire which would 'bring both parties to the table' is in place and only beneficial to Hamas which already has the support of worldwide anti-Israel, anti-Semitic propaganda.  Netanyahu's advisors, Israeli versions of Curtis LeMay are urging him to renew IDF attacks on Gaza and remove the enemy once and for all. 

President Trump should finish the job he started.  While he may have underestimated Iran's resilience and will to fight, let alone its significant arsenal of missiles and drones, and as importantly its control of the Strait of Hormuz, he should not hesitate to bomb Iran, completely destroy the ruling theocratic junta, devastate its civilian and military infrastructure, and bring the country to its knees - exactly as America did with Japan in World War II. 

The outcry from the progressive Left will increase, but Trump should not listen.  The world will be safer without the mullahs and their repressive terrorist regime.