"Whenever I go into a restaurant, I order both a chicken and an egg to see which comes first"

Thursday, May 23, 2024

When The Ayatollahs Came To The White House - 'They're Really Not That Bad', Said The President

President Biden had made sure that a Muslim woman was appointed to his staff.  He wanted to show that his differences with Iran, the Palestinians, ISIS, or al-Shabab had nothing to do with the religion of Islam, only those who took the peace and good will of Allah in vain.  Other than this unfortunate militancy, Islam was a peaceful religion, one whose unadorned desert simplicity was a haven for the faithful.  Friday prayers, the call of the muezzin, the respectful, communitarian period of Ramadan, were participatory, generous, expressions of love of God.  

Fatima al-Hamza was one of these good Muslims.  Aside from her hijab and Koranic references, she fit easily into Joe's diverse community of associates and aides.  He granted her some leeway on the Jewish front - it was only natural that she should blame Israel for taking Palestinian lands in 1947 and blowing Gaza to smithereens in the latest genocidal assault - and asked her only to keep mum in public and try to keep the same political equanimity as he himself vouchsafed.  In other words a little anti-Semitism in private never hurt anyone. 

Fatima in private was as virulent a Jew-hater as any Muslim.  She like they remembered the Crusades of Pope Urban II, the rout of Muhammed's army, and the occupation of Palestine.  She, as a young girl in Cairo had witnessed the Jew extorting exorbitant rents, sucking the lifeblood from borrowers, and dunning the innocent peasants who came to their shops for goods and services.  She had heard of their expulsion from Spain and celebrated it.  Queen Isabella had had the right idea in 1492 - get rid of the kike scum before they did any more damage. 

Of course Fatima knew how lucky she was.  In France the veil would have been ripped from her face.  She would have been forced to eat pork and have sex at her time of the month. Here in America the government of President Biden wanted none of that calumny.  He had waived his Christian heritage - again, as a good Muslim, she could never forgive that sodomite Charlemagne for sending the Saracens back to Africa at Roncesvalles - and had let bygones by bygones. 

He alone among world leaders - Meloni. LePen, Marechal, Wilders and the Swedes - had refused to succumb to the Muslim-bashing, anti-immigration Right. Muslims had every right to come to America and live proudly as Islamic Americans.  They were not the scourge of the continent as the young conservative leader of France claimed - not the derogating, corrosive, dangerous socio-political army of religious insurrectionists she said. 

So, given the President's Muslim carte blanche, Fatima worked behind the scenes to encourage a detente between Iran and the United States.  Of course she, a backstage, minor player in the diplomatic corps had no real influence and authority, but she was a member of the President's inner circle, chosen for their diverse values. 

And the President was attracted to her.  She knew that he had been married to that faux doctorated cunt for ages and thought only of being a Turkish pasha, Sultan Suleyman III, with a harem of Ottoman slaves at his beck and call.  Not only was Fatima his Islamic political prize but his wet dream. She, more than his Middle East Advisor, his Islamic go-between, or his Secretary of State, was his closest advisor.  She had his ear. 


She first arranged a delegation of Arab American women from Detroit to have afternoon tea with him in the Rose Garden - lovely women, with Angel Reese tough girl bitch false eyelashes, batted through the slit in the burka; eloquent women, devout women, defiantly but quietly Muslim women. 

'What was behind the veil?', the President wondered, or under the burka.  What thousand and one delights awaited him?  Let his first presidential dalliance be Muslim, and so he greeted each one of the Detroit women with courtesy and not an unpronounced personal interest. 

The talk turned to Iran, as she knew it would, prepped as the women had by her and on their own committed to the cause of the Iranian Revolution and an Iranian-led Islamic caliphate.   The President had vetoed the request of the State Department to vet the delegation.  He knew right from wrong, and giving Muslim women their due was part of his personal arrangement with God. If only he could have a peek under those burkas....

In the waning days of his presidency, Biden had enough authority to make executive decisions on national security and geopolitics; and despite the Punch and Judy Gaza show with the Iranians working the puppets, and despite predictable Jewish whining, he could make peace with the ayatollahs. 

Ayatollah Ahmed Mirza Ghasemi, not the Supreme Leader of the Islamic Republic, but an important member of the religious politburo, accepted the back door invitation from Washington.  It would be an unofficial meeting at Biden's beach house in Rehoboth, but the first of many to end with formal recognition of the two countries. 

Everyone in the President's cabinet and staff objected to the idea.  The Iranians could not be trusted, not now, not ever.  Islam and peaceful religious coexistence aside, these imams were devious pricks.  Don't let them anywhere near the President. 

But the President had a bee in his bonnet and insisted.  He would put on the dog for the ayatollah, show him the love and respect Americans have for Islam and the Republic.  Of course the ayatollah and his retinue had only bad thoughts, and saw this as an opportunity to observe The Great Satan close up. 

The Iranians of course had harbored haram thoughts about Dallas, Pamela Anderson, and Baywatch for years, and wanted some; and the President was personally willing to accommodate them.  The K Street madams were used to Arab visitors and their houses were blonde from top to bottom; but here the Secret Service to be on the safe side stepped in and arranged something in Baltimore. 

'I love you, man', the President said as he said goodbye to the delegation and thanked Fatima personally for her invaluable help in arranging the visit.  'You have done much for world peace', he said, as he waved to the Arabs as they made their way to Pennsylvania Avenue; 'and I must stop calling them Arabs' 

However, if the truth be known, one Muslim was no different from any other, so what did it matter?  He smiled one last time and retired to the Presidential Suite for a nap. 

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