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Monday, May 6, 2024

The Bitch Of The West - A Harpy Who Terrorized Congress

Despite all the monuments, museums, and flowering trees, no one ever said that the Nation's Capital was a nice place.  It is as downright smarmy, dirty, and nasty as the court of Caligula.  What else to expect from a den of ambitious, cornpone-and-bling politicians who are there only to make money?

Every single one of them, veterans of municipal and county battles, knows that the big money is in defense contracting, roads, bridges, and social welfare.  They have all been taking small pieces of small pies, and Washington offered the biggest chocolate cream pie ever. 


This universal ambition - to make as much money as possible in as little time as possible - was exactly what made Washington a clown show.  Ambition is not a pretty sight unless it is done in concert, and then it is worth the price of admission.  The well of the Congress, filled on most days with most of its four hundred plus members who want to get a vote in for the folks back home or to stop the next guy from taking their pork, has never been a a place for tea and crumpets.  These rubes all have sharp elbows and short memories.  The Congressman from _____ alone had left a trail of broken, severed and mutilated bodies to get from his home district to Washington. 

Women were not excepted.  The Congresswoman from ______had been known as The Bitch of the West, a terror known from the Red River to the Mississippi, the woman with the hatchet, a scorched earth, take-no-prisoners political savage who knew no bounds.  No one watching CNN would have ever guessed at this Amazonian barbarian, so carefully put together was she, her signature string of cultured pearls setting off a beautifully tailored Armani suit, her coiffure, and her demure, patient demeanor. 

Only the voters in her district who happened to tune in guffawed at the act because they knew about the Washington circus and always expected her to be on the highest trapeze.

'Isn't she something?', said one who had compared this soulless, bottomless woman to the great villainesses of the past.  She was Goneril, Regan, Dionyza, and Tamora all wrapped up into one.  'Marvelous', he said, shaking his head. 'Simply marvelous'. 

At least this district not known for much at all, a dry patch with more tumbleweeds than cattle, was a forgotten, politically insignificant place until she came along. 'Have to say that for her', the man went on. 'She put us on the map.'

Now, the Congresswoman, as venal and self-interested as any in the House, cared little for her district.  In fact she was a carpetbagger who happened on it because of a friend in high places, a high-rolling cattleman who had just engineered the most brilliant gerrymandering in US history, and created a safe seat perfect for her. 

She was given script, scenario, and money and with only few 'favors' to be given, she was off and running. The cattleman was quite happy with the arrangement, for all harridans do not have to be witches, and this woman was a temptress par excellence, a beautiful woman with the skills of a call girl - which of course she was given that she was selling herself for a seat in Congress. 

The catfights in the House between her and 'that' woman from Nebraska were legendary.  There was nothing that either one would stop at to blindside, sandbag, derail, and eviscerate the other.  Their male counterparts just stood aside and watched.  It was a smackdown, a bloody, eye-ripping, gut-spilling affair.  The women hated each other, despised each other. The votes were incidental to absolute, complete no-returning-from victory.

Kamala Harris, Vice-President at the time was kith and kin to both women.  No politician, male or female, had had more balls, chutzpah, absolute amoral hunger for power than Harris. She hatcheted, beheaded, and impaled many along her way to the White House.

If our Congresswoman ever had an equal, it was Madame Harris, and Kamala simply couldn't keep her hands off the woman. If the district she represented was only an insignificant stretch of political wasteland, its representative in the House definitely was not.  She had everyone's ear and poison arrows in her quiver. 

The 'Squad' as it had become known, was another rats' nest of political bitches - ambitious women 'of color' who fancied themselves as the ultra-liberal wing of the Democratic Party. For them there was no political issue which was not a question of race, gender, and ethnicity.  From weapons to agricultural subsidies everything for these women was about racism, homophobia, and ethnic slander.  They were on an unstoppable tear, and saw profit around every corner.  


The Congress was only a stepping stone to a much bigger political career.  In fact the way the President was pushing diversity and inclusivity, and how successful he had been at getting a black face or a gay body on every ad, soap opera, and Hollywood movie, all roads were open to them.  Contracts galore, money by the bushel. 

The men in the House were no patsies and certainly no shrinking violets, so they sharpened their stilettoes and jumped into the fray.  The aforementioned Congressman from ______who ' had left a trail of broken, severed and mutilated bodies to get from his home district to Washington' was the leader of his own pack of wolves, macho men out to show these uppity bitches who was boss.  The Speaker of the House had to rein in their worst instincts.  After all, some governance had to take place; but they were unapologetically armed and ready. 

The usually more temperate Senate - remember Alexander Hamilton's warning about the mob, the unwashed electorate and their uncouth representatives who needed a buffer - perhaps at one time was a judicious, reflective body; but it was no more. In fact it had become just as nasty, partisan, and venal as it’s juniors in the House.  Senators even jumped over what had always been a respected barrier, and got involved in the bickering and caterwauling in the other wing. 


They saw The Bitch of the West coming their way, and decided to do something about it; and in an unusual collusion, Senators from both sides of the aisle joined forces to do her in.  True to form, no holds were barred, and a disinformation, misinformation, and downright scurrilous campaign to unseat her was begun.  There were plenty of more tolerable up-and-comers from her district in both parties to take her place, so no problem there.  Getting rid of this cunt, these men agreed, was first and foremost. 

Now, none of this should be surprising to anyone paying the least attention to the machinery of government.  Competition after all was the bedrock of America, so a little infighting was expected even or especially at the highest levels; but this, voters agreed when the whole story came out, was over the top.  Bi-partisan carnage never seen before in Washington, and that was saying something. 

However, as soon as the blood and guts had been scraped from the floors of House, Senate, and West Wing, they were at it again  New cabals, crews, and cells were formed, and it all started over.  First smarmy bitchiness, upped to innuendo and suggestion, capped by allegation and indictment. 

Americans are proud of their democracy and the democratic process, and when compared to the corrupt regimes of Africa which haven't seen a democratic vote since independence, they should be; but the Founding Fathers who had such hope for a serious, intellectually uncompromised, principled rule of law, are turning over in their grave.  None of them could have expected this bathos.

Perhaps it took an outsider - Alexis de Tocqueville - to see what Americans were really made of, and with a clear eye predicted the future, this future, the future of the Congresswoman from _____, the Congressman from ______, the Squad, and Kamala Harris. 

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