"Whenever I go into a restaurant, I order both a chicken and an egg to see which comes first"

Thursday, June 6, 2024

Let Jose And Maria In! Oops, Too Many Of You, Said Joe Biden

Nothing has been more ludicrous than the free-for-all at America's southern border.  A political disaster in the making from day one, a profound error of political judgment, a maxed out distortion of progressive policies of diversity and inclusion, and a foolish, absurd way to tell Americans that their legitimate citizenship means nothing. 


Thousands of illegal immigrants have poured over the border, greeted by INS police and credulous citizens welcoming the wetbacks with hot tea and biscuits.  'We Love You' said signs along the Rio Grande held by Americans who had bought the meme that these were asylum-seekers, the poor, the hungry, and the marginalized.

Residents of Texas and Arizona felt differently - especially its legal Mexican-American and Latin American residents who had dutifully followed the long, bureaucratic, path to citizenship.  We have paid our dues, they said, angry at a government that turned its back on legitimate enterprise and opened its doors to all comers.  The juntas, autocracies, and corrupt governments of Latin America - like Cuba and its Mariel Boatlift years before - were happy to open their prisons, clean sweep restive barrios, and march people towards El Norte where they would finally be off their hands. 

Happiest were the Sinaloa and Tijuana drug cartels.  Having operated with impunity South of the Border for decades, they were now getting a free ride on the other side. The drug trade would now be a piece of cake with no border controls, a credulously welcoming American citizenry, and the creation of Sanctuary Cities. 

'Can you imagine that?', said a senior member of Sinaloa watching the open-arms welcome given to his comrades as they got off the bus. A carte blanche to do business not only in San Diego but New York!  A bonanza, an early Christmas gift.

The gang-bangers of Mara Salvatrucha in Los Angeles would no longer rule the roost, and Salvadorans on early release from prison made their way to Chicago and Philadelphia. 'We are transnational', said Jose Miranda, capo regime of Salvatrucha in Los Angeles.


It wasn't just the posses and prison rats that came north - tens of thousands of Salvadorans, Hondurans, and Nicaraguans crossed Rio Bravo just for American largesse.  Illegals who had just arrived texted relatives back home to say that they were staying at the Waldorf Astoria with room service and a free lunch.  So Jose, Maria, and Juan packed up their serapes and black beans and headed north.  No need for expensive mules, hiding in culverts, and dodging INS rubber bullets and Dobermans. 

'Our first maid was Irish, of course', said President Biden to a group of Rose Garden tea party ladies, 'a wonderful woman, a second mother to me, a bog-Irish princess who primped and ironed the lace curtains, cooked the dickens out of a corned beef, and took us to church when Daddy was too drunk to go'.  

The President's aides, never far from their charge these days, watching the clock and his reveries - he was more and more apt to go off message, and while his chat with the tea party was as informal and off the record as you could get, these old ladies would go back home and sail into a man who had reinforced every prejudice they had ever had about Irish priests and corned beef cabbage.  

Of course the new Ireland was no longer the miserable peatbog and thatch place it had been in Biden's time, but there is was, Angela's Ashes all over again, leaky roofs, moldy basements, cadged bits of coal, and being buggered by Fathers Brophy and Mullins.

'Ah, what a woman was Bridey Murphy', Biden had said, speaking in the same Corkish brogue that he learned from Bridey, 'a saint'.


'We had maids after her', the President went on, remembering Carmen, the pretty young thing whom he watched from his bedroom closet as she bent over to clean beneath his bed and dabbed dry her breast, sweet-smelling and damp from the summer heat, 'but they were nothing like Bridey. 

 'Carmen gave me a taste for the Latino immigrant', the President went on, 'and that is why I have welcomed her sisters and brothers from South of the Border.'


What would we do without Latino leaf-blowers, lawn-mowers, painters, landscapers, and nannies, the President mused, thinking of his Northwest Washington White House neighborhood? He could see little Jose, Juan, and Pedro clipping the hedges on the South Lawn, raking leaves, and tending to the chrysanthemums; and there in Lafayette Park, just across Pennsylvania Avenue were crews of them sweeping, cleaning, and dumping. 

Now this was diversity, the President thought, never quite happy with black people despite Barack who wasn't really black in the first place, more like that mullet chicken necked ambulance chaser Al Sharpton Obama insisted on inviting to the White House; or Lashonda Washington, foisted upon him by his Chief of Diversity, a high-shelved ghetto redemption project....Whoa! Can't go on with these thoughts. 

'We better shore it up', Mr. President, advised his Chief of Staff.  'November is just around the corner', and with that an a quick executive order, 'asylum seekers' would no longer be allowed automatic entry into the United States. 

Of course the reaction of the American public was just like that of the people of London after Buckingham gives his transparent, self-serving, wholly improbable defense of the plotting murder, Richard III - nothing doing; and of course the Biden end run had just the opposite effect.  Voters saw through this feeble election year ploy and laughed.  


Yeah, right, they said knowing that the damage had already been done.  Thousands of illegals sapping municipal reserves and testing taxpayers' patience.  Many residents of New York were saying, 'Send them back to where they came from' while a few diehard Upper West Side Jews were urging tolerance and compassion.  'Give them job training', they said. 

The damage had been done.  No one wanted wetbacks in the first place, and Biden's Johnny-come-lately electioneering order would not change their minds.  Only those deeply attached to Biden insisted they would still vote for him; most others said, Phooey, enough pretty little pinafore dances and Croise Devant at the border.  Basta!

No one expects a politician to be truthful or honest - trickery, backtracking, and bald faced lies go with the territory, but this border thing was beyond the pale. Of course no one on either side of the border felt that this executive order would do anything to stem the tide.  Sinaloa, Tijuana, and Mara Salvatrucha kept drug running and mayhem going strong, El Norte was where money, big money was to be made, and no dimwitted president would make any difference whatsoever. 

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