"Whenever I go into a restaurant, I order both a chicken and an egg to see which comes first"

Tuesday, January 4, 2022

Windbags, Blowhards, And Fools– There’s A Sucker Born Every Minute, Even Faster In Our Omicron-Fueled, Impossibly Credulous Age

Blenny Fielding went on and on about Ivermectin, the worm medicine taken by the unvaccinated to cure COVID.  It was, he said to anyone who would listen, a natural, homeopathic, earth-sourced, biometrically calibrated miracle drug.  Its vermicide properties were exactly the reason for its efficacy.  Viruses are no different from worms, he went on, invading the human biosphere, attacking it, and most importantly leeching on to its vital organs.

Image result for images intestinal worms

COVID, he explained, was not a free-form disease, floating willy nilly through the bloodstream, but a parasite which, once having penetrated the lungs, lodges there preventing the alveolae to process oxygen, causing the blood to thin and weaken, thus providing fewer and fewer nutrients to the brain, and causing certain death.

Ivermectin dislodges the parasitic bits of the Corona virus embedded in the lungs and other human tissue, and expels them quickly and efficiently.  Once all parasites have been removed from the body, the patient quickly recovers, fully immune and protected from further invasion, and can go on to a healthy life.

The only codicil, said Blenny, was that those cured of COVID thanks to Ivermectin had a  duty to tell the world about it.  Just as those miraculously cured by Jesus who became his most ardent spokesmen of faith, so the Ivermectin-cured should be alternate science’s evangelists.

Image result for images jesus miracle worker

Before Blenny had come to Ivermectin and wholistic treatments of COVID, he had been a loudly outspoken anti-vaxxer.  Vaccines upset the rhythms of the human biosphere, sending it into weird orbits of dysfunction.  Sudden blindness, gout-like attacks, paralysis, and mental brevity were common in the vaccinated; but all these sequelae were hidden from the public by the CDC, a tool of Russia, a mouthpiece of techno-babble KGB agents, and the front for the progressive left which used COVID as a means to expand and extend government power and control.

Image result for Cartoon of Dr. Fauci

Although he watched his unvaccinated friends drop like flies from the disease, he made no connection between the lack of immunization and infection.  It all had to do with what he called ‘biospherical distortion’ – the discombobulation of the human organism due to mercury and selenium; stressful lives which caused adrenaline molecules to fuse with ingested heavy metals to cause blocked arteries and poor venous return.  Those unvaccinated who had reduced stress through prayer, psalm, and meditation were shown to be immune to the virus.

Blenny was in the full flush of righteousness, having been cured of the Wuhan virus thanks to a cadre of courageous physicians in Coeur d’Alene who had stockpiled Ivermectin.  Thanks to abundant inventories in Africa where intestinal worms were endemic, the doctors’ newly-incorporated enterprise was able to buy thousands of crates of Ivermectin.  They hired a group of former Madison Avenue advertising executives (contrary to popular opinion, anger at and hostility toward the government, CDC, and the socio-medical establishment was not limited to America’s fringes but included all levels of society) who began a guerrilla campaign (not surprisingly, mainstream media lackeys were unapproachable on the subject, so in the pocket of CDC manipulative operatives were they) to reach the most receptive (and gullible) of audiences.

They made use of the social media, carefully crafting messages to evade Facebook and Instagram censorship which was becoming more and more arbitrary, autocratic, and invasive; and before long the message of Ivermectin was everywhere.  To most Americans it was simply a de-worming drug, and many families in the rural South were healthier for it.  

Not only did the rural poor have hookworms, but tapeworms, roundworms, and protozoa.  A few hits of Ivermectin and the worms went scurrying.  (“They be bad, but they be gone”, said one locally-produced commercial).  To most other Americans their first non-worm contact with Ivermectin was through incidental viewing on the internet, or, depending on their political inspiration, a much more deliberate contact with underground groups convinced of a network of government-sponsored conspiracies.

Image result for images hookworm rural south

Surprisingly – for not only was there no evidence whatsoever for the efficacy of Ivermectin on COVID, but there were increasing cases of serious and irremediable physiological dysfunction because of the administration of high doses of the product - popularity grew.  No peer reviews, no serious mention anywhere, no nothing.  It was quackery, pure and simple.  Balderdash; and yet Blenny and his cabal of true believers grew and grew.  The more they grew and the more people listened to them, the more outspoken and visible they were.  They were latter day street-corner shell game artists, Ponzi scheme hustlers, snake oil salesmen, and big tent preachers.  

Image result for images bernie madoff

Why this whole Ivermectin thing came as a surprise to so many was puzzling.  Conspiracy theories have been around for a long time and have increased geometrically thanks to the internet and social media.  Thousands have believed in Russian manipulation of dental fluoridation, a staple of American life.  Fluoride in large quantities, conspiracy theorists claim, causes mental flaccidity and a weakening of political will, thus rendering those who ingest it more susceptible to socialism.  

9/11 never occurred; or if it did, it was carried out deliberately by the government to generate a support for autocratic, authoritarian rule.  The Apollo moon landing also never occurred, but done with smoke, mirrors, and photoshop.  Again, government used the fiction to promote American geopolitical hegemony and a faux international supremacy.  Cockamamie cures for cancer, impotence, and hypoglycemia abound.  Every disease has its wild curative theories.  Almond extract, sexual healing, astral projection, enema purges, and all-night vigils are only some.

Image result for images weird conspiracy theories

It would be one thing if these conspiracy theorists kept their ideas to themselves or narrowly confined them within their cabals or social groups; another thing altogether if they went on the hustings to evangelize.  Americans have never been a quiet, reserved, stiff upper lip, modest people; nor are they reflective people who think before they speak.  On the contrary, when a new idea takes hold, it cannot be kept hidden, its light kept under a bushel.  So legions of blowhards, windbags, and conspiracy fools went out and about bleating their cause, taking advantage of freedom of speech (although, as mentioned above such speech, considered scurrilous and anti-American by social media giants and their progressive shills is being shut down) and never tiring.

COVID has only been the latest cause celebre for the radical conspiracist and wacky evangelist. It doesn’t take much to get them off the couch, online or on the pulpit.  Wind them up and they go forever.  No brakes or foot-governors are of any use.  When logic is not in play, anything goes, so they bang on without consequence to an increasingly credulous audience. 

The big question was how Blenny had fallen so far off the rails.  He had an Ivy League degree and some years of science behind him, a strong faith but no more far-fetched than charismatic Methodism, no particular family or personal traumas.  So what had happened? How could logic so easily have been tossed in the dumpster, reason left on the curb, and a life of confabulation and craziness come on so strongly?

That of course is the question, not only for Blenny but for America.  How on earth did we get so balmy?

Europeans think that there must be something in the water because we all started off as rational Europeans but when we set foot on Plymouth Rock something went awry.  Be that as it may, our wackos are our wackos, nobody else’s; and in popular parlance, we should ‘embrace’ them.  Which we do, thank you very much.

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