The Wampanoag Should Have Known Better - The First Thanksgiving, White Wolf, And Comanche Savagery

White Wolf, Comanche chief, was well known for his patriotic barbarity.  In the name of resisting the white invasion of Indian lands, White Wolf disemboweled, eviscerated and dismembered men, women, and children in white settlements. 

 

It was a powerful, unmistakable message to potential settlers and to the Union Army which was deployed to protect them. Both settlers and soldiers were fearful of him, admired his ferocity and tenacity, and thanks to his reign of terror, white settlements and Union Army raids both stopped. 

Before he died peacefully in 1900 at 80-90 years old, he had this to say, recorded by a journalist from the Oklahoma Eagle (although White Wolf spoke some English, it was broken and heavily accented, so this transcription was edited for clarity.  The content has not been altered):

Americans celebrate Thanksgiving, a day of shame and pity for Indians who should have known better.  The Wampanoag were idiots ('shit-eaters') who were imbecilic traitors, native fools, disingenuous ('squirrel-minded') dupes, emasculated, womanized men.  They opened the door to the round eyes, gave them succor and hope, and left the rest to me.  

I had to clean up after the cowardly ('barking dog') Wampanoag who should have slaughtered the white devils on Plymouth Rock, fed their innards to the dogs, and tossed their bodies into the sea.  Had these retrograde, blundering, craven fools done their job, I would not have had to spend Comanche lives keeping them at bay. 

I wish I had another hundred years to live, a hundred more white-slaughtering, woman-defiling, baby roasting years . 

The editor of the Eagle hesitated when he saw the journalist's transcript.  Such a hateful Indian screed might well set off more White-Indian violence, reopen old wounds, and cause the reservations in the state to rise up.

The journalist argued that history is history, and to hear it in the words of one of the most important Native Americans, was worth publication. 

Unfortunately it never saw the light of day but kept in the paper's archives to be discovered and made public many years later. 

 

At the same time, the controversy over Indian names for sports teams was raging - one side claiming that such names and images were a patronizing gesture and all such references should be removed; the other insisting that it was Native American courage, valor, and patriotism that were being celebrated, and names and images should stay. 

During this debate the Washington Redskins owners decided to change the name of the team and remove the famous warrior profile from all helmets, flags, and paraphernalia.  They also asked their fanbase for alternate names.  The White Wolves was among the most prominent. 

To name the team after an Indian hero, a proud Native American who stood for racial and ethnic identity, who was profoundly patriotic in his defense of Comanche lands, and who defied the colonization of the West would be very American and very fitting.  Many conservatives particularly appreciated the irony in the proposed choice - if progressives were so keen on 'diversity', let them chew on this white-killing, infant immolating savage.

Of course the name White Wolves was summarily dismissed.  The owners were afraid that any Indian name, however reflective of Native American heroism and pride was too contentious; and so it was that they settled on the absurdly common, neutral name The Commanders 

The Cleveland Indians were faced with the same progressive opprobrium and changed the name of the team to The Guardians a name borrowed from an Art Deco bridge across the Ohio River having nothing whatsoever to do with American history, Indian heritage, or the idea of patriotism. 

White Wolf went on in his interview with the Eagle journalist:

The Wampanoag should have poisoned the white devils with the same deadly poison in which their arrows were dipped before battle.  They should have invited them into their tents and taken scalps.  They should have driven lances into every last one of these intruders.  That would have been a fitting Thanksgiving...for the Wampanoag!

Every Thanksgiving there is a flurry of criticism about the holiday.  After all, it was nothing but the first snookering of Native Americans, trading their generosity and good will for slaughter.  As White Wolf said, the Pilgrims were nothing but the first genocidal settlers in the New World. 

In the years, decades, and centuries to follow, the pattern was continued. Politely ask the Indian to move on and make room for white settlers, and if he refuses, either kill him or chase him west of the Mississippi. 

All revisionist nonsense, of course.  The Nineteenth Century was no inclusive, diverse, equitable place, and races and ethnicity were either European, high, and noble; or black, brown, red and inferior.  How could Europeans not come to this conclusion when all of Africa had not moved out of the Stone Age? When savages were still living in teepees and slaughtering each other in tribal warfare at the same time the cities of Europe were magnificent with cathedrals, palaces, and gardens?

Killing Indians was no big deal.  They were simply in the way.  An ugly thought? Only to hypersensitive, modern revisionists.  The great Westward Expansion, Manifest Destiny were the muscular statements of the new nationalism. Thanks to the Louisiana Purchase and Lewis and Clark, America would soon extend from sea to sea. 

 

When asked by the journalist if he still hated Thanksgiving, White Wolf said:

Instead of the white devils feasting on turkey and yams, the Wampanoag should have been feasting on white baby liver, testicles and human blood sausage.  An Indian 'Thanksgiving' would have changed the course of history. 

So, as we all sit down to our Thanksgiving dinner, we should remember that it might have been us who were eaten and savored.  

The current President of the United States, Donald Trump, has vowed to change the name of the Commanders and the Guardians back to their original names, the Redskins and the Indians.  He has made public his respect and admiration for Native Americans, felt that expunging them from public consciousness is the worst sort of historical revisionism, and that their images and symbols reflect their courage, honor, and valor, 

It's about time! White Wolf would be very, very happy.